Return is impossible

“Oh, it’s only her. She has returned.”
I hardly tried to hide my joy.
She was dishevelled as usual but had a bright smile on her face.

“Are you in one piece?”
“Obviously. Make me a brew before I start telling you my stories.”

“So, she didn’t collapse under the burden of her bad luck?”
“Not quite. She cursed and cried and threw her arms in despair but she got over it. She’s not the same but she’s once again complete in her new form.
Some creatures have an innate ability to deal with rough times.”
“She’s just lucky enough not to be totally unlucky.”
“This is another possibility.”

“What is different this time?”
“I’ve given up on pattern recognition. I’m still exploring patterns but I have less faith in them.
I used to get caught up in my perception of meaningful repetition. I held on to whatever appeared familiar.
This time I’ve taken it a step further.
I can’t recognise, I can’t predict. I can only accept everything exists in the fuzzy state of an electron in its orbital.”
“Can you still read the signs, though?”
“There are no signs, that’s what I’m getting at. Everything is arbitrary. Even the conversation we’re having at the moment.”
“It can’t be. There’s some meaning to it.”
“Is there?
Meaning. Pattern. Yes, exploring. How sure are you that you understand what I’m trying to say?"
“Shut up!”
She laughs hard.
“And even if you do. Do I really mean what I say?”
“You don’t like committing yourself, do you?”
“I sometimes wonder whether this choice is available to me.”

The sea of lava sparkles beyond us.

After all, this is the phoenix mating season.